May You All Have a Very Happy Thanksgiving!

 

From: Ron Marshall

Howdy Folks,

 

 

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.



He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'



The boy replied, 'What turkey?'



The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'



The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'



The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.



If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'



The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!'



May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

 

The Night of Thanksgiving

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, 
but I just couldn't sleep... 
I tried counting backwards, 
I tried counting sheep. 
The leftovers beckoned...the dark meat and white, 
but I fought the temptation with all of my might. 
Tossing and turning with anticipation, 
the thought of a snack became infatuation. 
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door 
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore. 
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes, 
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes. 
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round, 
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground. 
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky 
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie 
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees... 
Happy eating to all -- pass the cranberries, please

A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. 
His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!" 

 

                              

 

Sincerely,

Ron

P.S. Once again, Happy Thanksgiving!


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